Luna Indira, 6.18.17
My Midwife and Doula loving on me & baby Luna minutes after birth
This time, baby was planned, and so was my VBAC (Vaginal Birth After Cesarean). I had just attended my first birth as a documentarian- which by the way was PURE MAGIC! (Click here to see for yourself!) Little did I know then, that I was already newly pregnant! Naturally, this time around, I wanted exactly what I had just witnessed. A(n unmedicated) vaginal birth with the support of a doula and midwife. This whole pregnancy was so different. Everything was intentional and all decisions came from an educated place. 39 weeks came along and my midwife advised me to kick it up a notch, physically. She was concerned that I would go over 40 weeks and the hospital would start pressuring me to have another Cesarean- that shook me! So on top of the weekly yoga classes, I was speed walking A LOT, climbing stairs, bouncing on the exercise ball, squatting, pumping, spicy food, ginger tea, you name it. 2 days prior to my Guess Date, labor began. I went to my yoga class (which happened to be lead by my doula) with my daughter and partner. We bonded and relaxed as I contracted in the most peaceful way. I moved and rested throughout the rest of the day. Around midnight I decided to try and get some sleep, which is when the contractions intensified - not letting me sleep one bit. I rocked, swayed, got in the tub, and then made my way to the hospital once my contractions were 5 minutes apart. The pains were sooo intense by then, I had never experienced anything like it. I was trying to focus on visualizing my water birth, but boy it was so hard! The hospital said I was considered “high risk” because I was a VBAC (insert hard eye roll) and couldn’t get in the tub- my hope for pain relief. Nothing else seemed to be putting me at ease. I received a (very rough) cervical exam where the attending scoffed “you’re barely half a centimeter” at me, which was beyond disheartening. Especially after laboring hard and peacefully at home, I felt desperate and wasn’t able to get that number out of my head. I was fighting my body & loosing with each surge. At this point, that epidural i’d been offered 3x was sounding verrrrrry appealing, I was ready to rest! My doula, partner and bestie reminded me of my plan for an unmedicated birth and I thugged it out through a few more contractions but ultimately I chose to get the epidural.
I was so disappointed in myself for giving in; I thought I was setting myself up for another Cesarean, after months of hard work towards a vaginal birth. After a few tears, pep talks, laughs, and naps, I was able to relax. I believe it's because I was so calm that I was at 9cm when I was checked again at noon. At that time, with the mindset I had and the limitations the hospital put on me, I wouldn't have been able to relax enough to open up with such intense contractions. On Sunday, June 18th 2017, at 1:13pm after 19 minutes of pushing, healthy baby Luna Indira was earthside and ready to meet her family! It was the best Father's day gift the universe and I could have ever given Danny and the abuelos.
I couldn't have done it the way I did without my team!!
While I am grateful for my vaginal birth, if I knew then what I know now boyyyyy- I would have made very different decisions. It ALMOST makes me want to do it again- but I know that’s my ego talking, wanting to prove a point to myself. So instead, I dedicate my life to walking alongside families navigating transitions- and I LOVE it!!